How Husbands get out of shopping

My friend Angie sent me this today - I just had to share it its so funny!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Walmart, He prefers to get in and get out quickly, but Mrs.
Fenton loves to browse. HE must find a outlet for his boredom at
Walmart....SO after about 25 shopping trips...Here's a letter Walmart
sent to Mrs. Fenton:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his SPOUSE was shopping in Walmart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then screamed very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Walmart

8 comments:

Isabelle said...

LOL! Thank you for the good laugh, Su :D

Anonymous said...

Brilliant Su! I enjoyed that!

Allotment Lady said...

I could not believe my eyes when I read all your posts and saw the Christmas 'Ornies' I didnt' have a clue before that what they were.

I am totally amazed they are all so equisite. How wonderful to have a tree decorated with just those.

Heirlooms of the future

Cathy said...

Hilarious! And I love what you stitched for Karin.

sharon said...

Sooo funny...Thanks for a good start to the day.

Anonymous said...

That was brilliant Su.

Katrina said...

Su too cute, my DH loved it :-). He tends to come out of Walmart with fishing string and plastic snakes, spiders, that kind of thing. He uses them to tease our DD, LOL.

Meari said...

LOL! How funny.

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